Thursday, May 21, 2009

What I've Been Up To, Jell-o Shot Edition

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It was time for the Jaycees golf tournament and my job was a simple one.  Make the Jell-o shots, sell the Jell-o shots.  Unfortunately, I always complicate things by adding “have too many Jell-o shots” to that list.  A couple of years ago when we first had the bright idea to add them to the tourney menu, Tom and I took turns creating this lovely piece of art that demonstrates what might happen if I am allowed to drive the shot cart. 

It started with me in the cart with the little speed lines.  Tom added the tree, squirrel and birds to imply that I had somehow found myself airborne.  I added the ramp.  We are artistes.

Monday, May 04, 2009

So Close Book Shower!

I have had been reading the very talented, gorgeous and divine Tertia’s blog since late in her pregnancy with her twins, Kate and Adam.  I was so impressed by her brains, wit and bravery that I went back and read archived posts.  When her book, So Close became available in the United States, I rushed to buy a copy.  I also volunteered to be part of her online Book Shower.  We, the shower participants, have been given some prompts based on the book.  One of them deals with assumptions.  Tertia assumes, even before her problems with fertility are identified, that starting a family will be a challenge.  My assumption, no matter how unrealistic, is always that things will turn out OK.  This is in spite of the fact that she and I share the tendency to end up with the least likely results.  I should make it clear that I am not referring to my own infertility.  I am happily childless, but find Tertia’s honesty, humor and attitude compelling.  Reading her blog and her book have taught me how to be a more compassionate and informed friend and relative to all of the people in my life who are building families, one way or another.  For that I am grateful and that is why I would urge everyone to read her story. 

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Not Abducted, Just Busy

When I say that I’ve been busy, I certainly don’t mean I have been accomplishing anything, but I have been having a lot of fun.  During this mostly wet and gloomy arrival of spring we have been going a little bit wild.  There have been all day meat-smoking and beer-drinking weekends.  I have mildly injured myself playing enthusiastic games of non-PC wii bowling.  I have said and done inappropriate things while enjoying the finest dirty vodka martinis you will ever find.  (April, you are a magician with a shaker) We have tossed washers in the dewy evening grass.  We still don’t have the gardens ready for planting and we haven’t managed to finish all of the laundry in some time, but sometimes it feels good to let that stuff go.

Thursday, April 09, 2009

Wow

This may have just surpassed the Eddie Izzard Cake or Death bit as my favorite Lego YouTube short.  Hmm, I didn’t realize how absurd it is that “favorite Lego YouTube short” is a legitimate string of words until I had to type it out.

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

I'm Building

I joined a(nother doomed) challenge called 31 Days to Build a Better Blog in order to encourage myself to fill this space a little more frequently and in an improved manner.  I skipped yesterday’s Day 1 challenge, which invited me to write an elevator pitch for this here site.  I have no interest in marketing myself or coming up with a pithy way to say that I talk about the random things that pop into my head.  I am not here to Market or Brand or Sell.  The Day 2 challenge is a much more interesting (to me) task.  It is simply to make a list.  I like lists.

10 Things I Have Learned or Have Been Reminded of Recently

Thing 1:  Dumping salsa, sour cream and shredded cheddar in a bowl is 90% as good as actual 7 Layer Dip and takes 90% less time to prepare.

Thing 2:  Having a second job can be rewarding and it isn’t just the extra cash. 

Thing 3:  If drinking a martini out of a travel mug at a bluegrass bar at 2 in the afternoon seems OK, you have had already had too much vodka.

Thing 4:  Kind words have a pretty amazing way of brightening someone’s day.

Thing 5: Unexpected gifts from far away friends are equally awesome. 

Thing 6:  A clean and freshly groomed dog makes a very fine cuddle companion.

Thing 7:  If winter weather decides that April is an appropriate time to show up, just embrace it.  One more evening this year with homemade soup, the fireplace ablaze and a quilt on you lap isn’t the worst thing in the world.

Thing 8:  Comfortable shoes can improve many situations.

Thing 9:  A wii is a good investment.

Thing 10:  Soy milk makes almost all hot beverages taste better.

HTML Challenged

I am trying to do a little housekeeping around here and I think I have reached the limit of my abilities.  I can not figure out how to update everything that I desire to change.  Tom, my personal IT department, is going to need to give me a hand with this.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Speaking of Bad Decisions

This makes me want to stab someone.

So Many Bad Decisions

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Hello, 1990!  Why yes, it is Christmas in Wisconsin, literally freezing outside, but I am in fact wearing dress shorts.  Oh, and how many sizes too large is that silk blouse?  Yes, and welcome to the haircut, bangs!  The wedge was actually doing OK without you, but now that you’re here, have a ball!  Hey, and how is it that after living for many months in Texas, I still look like I’ve never seen the sun?

Well, I guess it could be worse.  There was always Christmas 1989.  I could explain all of the reasons why that was a shitty year for the holidays, but it wouldn’t change my cheerful wardrobe choice.  That is what I would have worn anyway, I’m certain of it.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Not About Urine or Magician Sex

This one is all about Tom and me.

What are your middle names?
Legally, I don’t have one.  When I married, I took my maiden-name as my middle name.  When I divorced, I just dropped the married-last-name and didn’t put the middle back.  The Social Security office screwed that up and took my middle name from my birth certificate, so I still have to write it on everything since I’m too lazy to get the card fixed.  Oh, and it is/was Sue.  I must not tell you Tom’s.  He hates it.

How long have you been together?
We met in early summer 1998 in Texas and were living together in Missouri by August of 1998.

How long did you know each other before you started dating?
Um, we didn’t so much date.  We met for ice cream one day and went out for ribs very early on, but we had already sort of surpassed the dating point in our relationship.

Who asked whom out?
He asked me and a few of my friends over for dinner.  It was not asking ME out specifically, but it ended up as if he did.

How old are each of you?
I just turned 36 and he just turned 37.

Whose siblings do you see the most?
Well, I don’t have any siblings, so we see his more by default.  I do have step-siblings who live in other states.  The two in Texas, I almost never see.  My mom married their dad long after I had moved out of the house.  The other two I see more frequently.  I have known them all my life and it is complicated besides.  The short answer is still Tom’s siblings.  None of them live more than an hour and change away (except for the oldest two, it is also complicated).

Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?
Money, money, money and just stupid money.  With money, BAD I am.

Did you go to the same school?
We have both taken classes at Columbia College and Mizzou, but never attended at the same time.  We grew up in different states, so there was no overlap there, either.

Are you from the same home town?
Nope, but we both spent our youth in very rural small towns, his even smaller than mine.

Who is smarter?
Our brains work so differently, it would be a hard call.  I have a lot more trivial knowledge, he has a lot more academic (but, really, equally trivial to most of us) knowledge.  I can visualize solutions more quickly than he can, but his eventual solutions may be more practical.  I want instant gratification, where he is willing to mull things over forever, so that puts me at a disadvantage in some cases.  I do have patience for things like long novels and crossword puzzles, so my vocabulary is probably larger, but he can kick my ass at Scrabble, which pisses me off.

Who is the most sensitive?
I think he is, but neither of us have particularly thin skin.  We also react differently to things.  My actions hurt him where his words hurt me.

Where do you eat out most as a couple?
Half-price appetizers at B-12, where the beer is cheap and the Silver Strike Bowling is, um, available.

Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
The Southern coast of Spain.  I am determined to go back someday.

Who has the craziest exes?
I win.  Just…I win.

Who has the worst temper?
I am angry more frequently, but Tom can get angrier I think.

Who does the cooking?
I usually do because I’m always hungry first.  Tom has some signature dishes that are fantastic and improvises with great results, but doesn’t feel the need to eat as urgently as I do.  I’m home first and hungry, so I cook.

Who is the neat-freak?
Neither of us.  Tom is a lot more particular about where certain things go, but we both put up with a fair amount of clutter.

Who is more stubborn?
Oh, man, we are both so stubborn.  Another draw, I’m afraid.

Who hogs the bed?
The dogs hog the bed.  I tend to scoot over to his side and force him close to the edge, but I blame that on the dogs, too.

Who wakes up earlier?
Tom has to be at work earlier and has a longer drive, so it is always him.

Who is more jealous?
We are both terrible flirts and spend a lot of time with friends of both sexes, so neither of us can afford jealousy.

How long did it take to get serious?
It happened really fast, but I don’t regret rushing into this one bit.

Who eats more?
I eat a lot more often, but Tom can finish a larger portion than I can in one sitting.

Who does the laundry?
We tend to share the laundry duty on Sunday.  One of us will start a load, the other will move it to the dryer and we’ll both fold.  Sometimes it is more one-sided than that, but we share more often than not.

Who’s better with the computer?
He is a network architect and all around computer-type-guy, so it is him, no question.

Who drives when you are together?
He drives more often, but it kind of depends which car we’re in, who drove it last, where we’re going, etc.

Another Job

Tonight I start my first shift at my second job.  I have been through training, orientation and one long, drawn-out visit to the drug test clinic*.  I obviously don’t want to reveal too much about this new employer, but it is a retail outlet that I frequent.  I’m excited about their benefits package for part-timers and the discount that I get to take advantage of.  I’m even more excited about the fact that I’m not selling anything for them.  The work I’ll be doing is with the merchandise, not the customers.  I win.

* I have never taken a drug test for an employer.  I assumed it would be a very quick in-and-out procedure, but I was sadly mistaken.  There was a mandatory 15 minute wait after I arrived before I could attempt the test.  I humored the tech by taking the cup of water that she offered me while I waited.  I assumed that, just like every other minute of every other day of my life, I would have to pee when the time arrived.  I am the person you don’t want with you on a long car trip because we’re going to have to take frequent pit stops.  When fifteen minutes were up, the tech led me to the back, showed me the line on the cup that I had to reach and left me to the task.  My bladder failed me.  At this point, I mentally reviewed the page I had signed upon arrival.  If I left now, without filling the cup adequately, they and my new employer would consider it a refusal of the test.  Nice.  I spent the next 25 minutes drinking as much very cold water as I could, shivering and reading old copies of Time magazine.  Finally, I felt like I could perform the task.  I did what they needed me to do, left their office and spent the rest of the morning cursing as I ran back and forth to the bathroom, freeing the rest of the water that I had guzzled.

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Dude, the Drugs

I think I have finally settled on a combination of meds that are helpful without any serious side-effects* and that won’t cost an arm and a leg each month.  I am grateful to the trio of doctors that it took to get me to this point and hope that I can spend a little more mental energy on other things.

* There is one side-effect that I could do without.  Occasionally, I have a full night of very intense, very realistic dreams.  The first half of last night’s slumber was interupted by nightmares that Tom had to repeatedly wake me from because of all of the noise I was making.  The second half featured a very long and graphic evening spent smoking pot and having, um, relations with Penn and Teller.  I like unconventional men, so that makes marginal sense, I guess.** The problem is that these crazy-pill dreams are so very real to me when I wake up that I spend the day remembering them as if they were actual events, like something that happened yesterday, instead of in that hazy dream recall.

** I actually very much like Penn & Teller.  I’ve been to their Vegas show, love Bullshit on Showtime, have read Penn Jillette’s fiction and think that both of them are really interesting individuals.  I could have done worse.

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

We Do Have Fun

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The wii went to Colorado with us.  Apparently, gorgeous landscapes, a multitude of outdoor activities, the pool table and hot tub at the house and the opportunity to explore the town of Steamboat Springs wasn’t enough.  We needed video games.  Awesome video games.  I don’t remember what Tom was playing when I took this picture, perhaps bowling, but I do know that he had consumed enough beer that the helmet was probably a good idea.  Isn’t he cute when he celebrates?

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

A Work of Art

Our friend and ski-trip-mate Jon is a true artist.  His snow sculpturing skills are second to none.  Tom posted a series of pictures at What the Foto that shouldn’t be missed.  To see for yourself…

*Click Me!*

Monday, February 23, 2009

How Long Has It Been?

Has it been a while since you have looked at the floor under your stove?  Would you even say that it has been longer than just “a while”?  My advice to you is to stay the course, let it go, move to a new house, whatever.  You just don’t want to know. 

I was cleaning my drip pans and decided to scrub under the range cover.  The edge that meets the cabinets had some hard to reach bits, so I slid the stove out a bit.  I was very tempted to just push that sucker back and pretend it had never happened.  The day-to-day dust, dirt, dog hair and what-not had gone too long neglected and it was disgusting.  I spent the next half hour on my knees with a bucket, scrub brush, paper towels and toothbrush making sure that every bit of the tile was nastiness free. 

Considering how long I went unaware of the horror that was waiting for me under there, it is funny how much pleasure I get from the knowledge that it is sparkling clean now. 

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Watch His Film, Love His Film

My very good friend Wes has applied for The Best Job in the World.  If he is chosen, he will relocate to Australia for six months and get paid to blog the incredible experience.  He has started his own blog to document the application and selection process and to put a little more information out there about himself.  The video submissions could only be 60 seconds long, which isn’t enough time to sell yourself.  So, go to the first link to watch his video and the second to read more about him.  The number of views and ratings may help sway the folks who make the decision to make the right choice.  Good luck Wesley!

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